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10 Funny au apir / babysitter Jokes

Everyone needs a laugh now and then; especially au pairs and parents. Kids do and say the darndest things, so they’re always good for a chuckle. Here are 10 funny au pair / babysitter jokes I think will tickle your funny bone.

  1. Definition of a babysitter – What’s the definition of a babysitter? A teenager acting like an adult while the parents are out acting like teenagers.
  2. Babysitting sister – A young boy was taking care of his little sister while their parents were away and took her fishing with him. He vowed never to do that again because he didn’t catch any fish. Not because she scared the fish, but because she ate all the bait.
  3. Baby Jesus – A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Mary and Joseph took baby Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A student quickly answered, “Because they couldn’t get a babysitter!”
  4. Au pair from heaven – Little Johnny asked his mother if it was true his babysitter came from heaven and she said, “Yes, that’s right.” He then replied, “Well I sure don’t blame him for chucking her out!”
  5. Au pair alternative – What do you do when you can’t find an au pair? Duct tape the baby to the wall.
  6. Babysitter greeting – The parents returned home later than usual and were worried the sitter would be upset. She responded, “Don’t apologize. If those monsters were my kids, I wouldn’t want to come home either!”
  7. Harry Potter – Why would Harry Potter make a bad babysitter? Would you leave your kids home alone with a whiney teenager that has identity issues and who can do magic? I hope not.
  8. From child 1 to 3 – Child #1; You call the babysitter at least 5 times. Child #2; You leave your phone number with the babysitter. Child #3; You leave strict instructions with the sitter to only call if there’s blood.
  9. Ketchup – The au pair was trying to get ketchup out of the glass container when the parents called. The 5 year old answered the phone and said the babysitter couldn’t come to the phone because she was hitting the bottle.
  10. Nudity- The au pair was in the bathroom changing her clothes when little Tommy walked in on her. She shrieked and grabbed a towel, as he watched in amazement and asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy befor